Get Some, Tiger!

To sex or not to sex, that is the question.

The Rolomite | Daily Girth

Remember when Tiger Woods used to be good golfer? Seems like so long ago.

Everything was going well until that car crash in 2009 and then we find out about his transgressions and then his golf game just takes a big shit. A bigger shit than overweight Kirstie Alley after a deep fried buffet.

Woods’ last major victory was in 2008 at the U.S. Open. Winning a major golf championship is a difficult feat. The all-time record is 18 by Jack Nicklaus. Woods had a legit shot to catch Nicklaus as he has 14 majors in his back pocket.

Then the transgressions stopped.

When that happened, the winning stopped.

Let’s be honest, nobody goes to rehab for the types of transgressions Woods had unless you’re really in deep. Deep enough to try all the moves in the Kama Sutra thrice over.

Since Tiger was a married man this was bad. Very bad. In fact, this was so bad, not even a $4 million ring similar to the one Kobe Bryant bought for his wife would do the trick.

If Tiger would have single, however, his buddies would be giving him high fives. He’d be all hyped in the media. Late-night talk show hosts such as Jimmy Kimmel would crack jokes and group him with all-time pimps such as Wilt Chamberlain, Tommy Lee, Ray J, Bill Clinton and Fidel Castro.
Wait, they do that already.

The big question now is will Woods ever win another major? Hell, will he ever win again?

Some of his recent outings have been the poorest of his professional career. Missing the cut, high scores and a very low finish in one (78th place, second to last). When was the last time you ever heard of Tiger Woods finishing in 78th place?

The cliché, “if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it” seems most appropriate here.
Get some, Tiger.

The previous approach made him the hardest player in golf, the highest paid athlete in the world and one of the most recognized people, well, ever.

You know other professional athletes engage in transgressions all the time. That’s gotta be a big self-confidence boost at the very least.

Tiger became a family man after his treatment. Gone were the days of porn stars, models, groupies, floozies and random encounters. Stay the course, Tiger and you won’t have to worry about the pressures of winning golf tournaments.

Now that Tiger’s a free man he has all the time in the world to engage in lustful activities. No more wife, no more Lindsey Vonn. Time for relations of a sensual nature. Time for Tiger to engage his prey for a rough bout of coitus. Time for ridiculous reproduction attempts, but ultimately, failing, all the while having a blast.

Will Tiger ever get out of this rut? That’s between him and his transgressions.

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