How Baby Corn Kevin Stole Cinco De Mayo

A townie drives his neighbors away using a nefarious tactic only to realize he’s lonely without his tormentors.

Photo courtesy of Google Images

For the many folks in Beanville every May 5 brought masquerade.

They would get drunk as a skunk and try to get laid.

But there was one bean in Beanville who was denied this yearly heaven.

A sultry fat fump named Baby Corn Kevin.

Baby Corn hated Cinco de Mayo, the whole Mexican season.

But unlike the other taco vendors, he had his reason.

For you see he can never participate, no matter what the theme is.

Because Kevin suffers from the condition known as micropenis.

They bring out piñatas, and shoot their guns.

But without a normal penis, life’s just no fun.

Kevin was sick, disgusted and distraught.

Mexicans knew not the impact they wrought.

So long he stood staring down at his stump.

Enraging himself due to lack of being humped.

When a thought occurred most definitely no bueno.

The plan erupted like a kidney stone from his tiny volcano.

“I’ll show them,” he said while stroking his chin.

When the idea was formed he plastered a grin.

“People come here because their lives are hard.

“Let’s see how they fare in this state without a green card!”

So Kevin worked through the night, he was out of control.

Baby Corn had gone and dialed the border patrol.

The next morning La Migra stormed the gates of the beans.

And put an abrupt end to their ways and means.

They took everyone from Conchita to Miguel to Rosales.

Nobody was left, not even Speedy Gonzales.

When all were deported there were no more orange stands.

No maids, no gardeners, no mariachi bands.

And Baby Corn stood as the wasteland wind roared.

Without people around he would be sad and bored.

He began to regret his legally cruel trick.

And despite his size, he felt like the biggest dick.

They came back in droves, Latinos galore.

From slow pokes Morales to Esteban the Whore.

The many beans crowded Kevin, celebrating him as king of the town.

For making room for honest Mexicans, not just barrios of brown.

Whoa, thought Kevin, what a large class!

It was even larger than Nikki Minaj’s ass.

The women that arrived hungered for Kevin as their men were gay.

And it was said that his cock grew three sizes that day.

For everyone in Beanville this was pure joy.

Everyone got some, especially Kevin’s new toy.

The holiday saved, Baby Corn stood tall.

There was tequila for many, but buttsex for all.

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