The Geek Mecca

Comic-Con International will attract more than 100,000 attendees during the next four days. Every nerd should attend the convention at least once.

Photo illustration by Stony Tony | Daily Girth

If you’ve immersed yourself in comic books, struggled through hours of time playing video games or waited in line to see a summer film whose main character wears tights, then Comic-Con International is for you.

Whether you’re a Trekkie, fangbanger, street fighter or maybe you just want to believe — at least once you must attend Comic-Con.

Your nerd street cred isn’t complete until you go to Comic-Con, not even if you’ve read all the novelizations of the “Star Wars” movies, cried every time you see Optimus Prime die in “Transformers: The Movie” (the 1986 version) or endlessly debated who’s better, Captain Kirk or Captain Picard.

There are some negatives to this great gathering: ridiculously long lines, people who don’t wear deodorant or don’t take showers, crowds so big you can’t get where you need to, and sadly, stuff that simply doesn’t belong at Comic-Con.

What belongs at Comic-Con? Anything comic book or graphic novel. Anything science fiction. All video games and cartoons. Blockbuster films featuring comic book heroes and villains. Anime. Fantasy genre stuff. “Conan the Barbarian” (even the new version counts, I guess, although without Arnold wielding a sword, it’s not the same). Toys and action figures.

What doesn’t belong at Comic-Con? I’m sorry, but you can’t just throw random-ass TV shows at this geekfest and think they belong. “Dexter” walks a fine line; the horror element satisfies in the same way “Friday the 13th” or any other slasher flick justifies its attendance. Former WWF wrestlers make their way to Comic-Con to sign autographs. As much as I love these guys, I don’t think they belong at Comic-Con, especially when fucking Virgil, the Million Dollar Man Ted DiBiase’s bodyguard, begs for income by stating, “Who got money?” when you get near him.

Motorcycle cops from 1980s TV shows definitely don’t belong, which is especially infuriating when Erik fucking Estrada is there. Thankfully, his area was desolate, nobody waited in line to see him the year I saw him. Wonder if he had better luck any other years?

The most damning was seeing a set-up for “The Office,” yes, that’s right, the fucking “Office,” something that under no circumstances has any place at Comic-Con. You suck, Steve Carell, quit riding the coattails of “The 40-Year-Old Virgin,” that came out seven years ago, do something good for once.

I guess you have to suffer through bullshit like that to enjoy all that Comic-Con has to offer. It’s still the toughest ticket to get so I will enjoy all that the real nerds have to offer, whether they are “Godzilla” toys, “Batman” swag, “Spawn” collectibles, a peek at Sookie Stackhouse or even trivia games about “X-Men” characters in which you win a free “Spider-man” game. I won said game by answering this question: what is Juggernaut’s catch phrase?

After some thought, I had it: “I’m the Juggernaut, bitch.” If you don’t know where that came from, then your geek street cred is lacking (no, that phrase wasn’t originally uttered in Brett Ratner’s terrible “X-Men” movie that he still hasn’t apologized for). I hope to see you at Comic-Con.

Comic-Con is located in San Diego and runs through Sunday. Tickets are sold out.

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