‘They Dressed Like Idiots,’ Future Generations Will Say

The new Adidas commercial is proof that our most elaborate fashion choices in 2012 are bad. It’s not just Nicki Minaj in a ridiculous blue coat, it’s the wardrobe of athletes, kids and folks who supposedly wear glasses.

Remember when you used to make fun of your parents’ style choices? Way back when, men used to wear suits all the time and women wore dresses. Then in the ’60s it was the messy hippie look; the ’70s had funky digs and afros; the ’80s featured heavy metal attire, “Miami Vice” fashion, spandex and women rocking that messy Madonna hair; grunge, neon clothes and baggy jeans became the norm in the ’90s.

The aughts and our current fashion trend have been a mix of styles from previous generations. That still doesn’t mean some people don’t look ridiculous.

Nicki Minaj in that new Adidas commercial looks like an absolute fool. Does that unusual blue coat give her magical powers like some wizard? Normally, Nicki’s exotic looks and voluptuous body would make her a top tier hottie. But that coat, geez, it makes her appear like some clown. If she jumped off a building, would the coat make her float like a parachute?

And designer Jeremy Scott with the fucked-up haircut, did he get transported with a time machine from an era in which crazy, ugly clothes are in style?


Nicki Minaj stars in the new Adidas commercial with Chicago Bulls guard Derrick Rose and rapper Big Sean.

Her coat is a gigantic fashion error.

2NE1, the South Korean group dancing in the streets of Tokyo, well, they rocking some interesting gear.

Adidas commercials aren’t the only source of bizarre attire.

Two current fashion trends that will surely confuse our children and grandchildren are skinny jeans and those big glasses people wear … without the actual lenses. “They dressed like idiots,” future generations will say.

It would not surprise me if studies were conducted in a decade or so about the lack of reproductive ability in men. Wearing skinny jeans would be the culprit, I’m sure of it.

Women in skinny jeans is OK. But when guys do that, it’s just wrong. When hefty dudes indulge in such fashion errors, that’s just criminal. How do these guys squeeze into such pants, anyway? Do two people have to hold the jeans open while the guy leaps from a bed or ladder into those package-compressing pants?

At least wearing skinny jeans serves a purpose. You’re not going to walk around bottomless.

So what’s with wearing glasses without the lenses? What kind of fucking fool does that? Try driving a car to work with absolutely no gas. Serve yourself a plate with no food on it. Watch an ultra-thin LED TV after you’ve had your electricity cut off.

Sporting frames without lenses is even more idiotic than wearing sunglasses indoors.

NBA player Russell Westbrook is the most notorious offender of all. He wears those glasses (maybe the lenses are in there) with the stupidly ugly frames. And the shirts he rocks, especially those during the press conferences after the NBA Finals, were atrocious. You know your clothes suck when they can be criticized now instead of decades from now.

These fashion fuck-ups will continue. Just be prepared to join your kids and their offspring in making fun of these delusional individuals.

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