We’ve seen The Rock vs. John Cena already and the rest of the card is just so-so.
Photo courtesy of WWE
The WrestleMania juice seemed bitter this year. The intrigue of The Rock vs. John Cena couldn’t be cloned from WrestleMania XXVIII. It made for a stale show with only three quality matches (none of them classics) and one whatever music performance.
The Miz d. Wade Barrett
True, The Miz won the Intercontinental title, however, this was before the actual pay per view and that title has meant very little since the days of Bret Hart and Mr. Perfect.
And yes, this is the same Miz of MTV fame. Just two years ago he was in the main event of Mania, now he’s doing dark matches that nobody sees.
The Shield d. Randy Orton, Big Show and Sheamus
Teamwork prevailed. Orton, Show and Sheamus couldn’t get past their egos.
Mark Henry d. Ryback
Two behemoths clashed in the ring. The match was a nice display of power from both guys. It might have been more interesting to see them in a weight lifting contest.
Kane and Daniel Bryan d. Dolph Ziggler and Big E Langston
DG’s Papa del Xol pointed out that Langston and another newcomer, Fandango, were making their Mania debuts. As in neither wrestlers had ever been in a match before.
He’s totally right. This is WrestleMania, you gotta pay your dues and earn your ups.
The Miz wasn’t on the pay per view. Veteran wrestlers Cody Rhodes and Tensai were scheduled to be in a tag team match that got completely scrapped and yet Langston and Fandango get the spotlight.
Vince McMahon did some backstage flexing.
This match was whatever. At least AJ, who accompanied Ziggler and Langston to the ring, looked hot.
Here’s her reaction from last night:
Fandango d. Chris Jericho
Fandango, a guy who had never stepped up in an actual WWE match, got the win over Jericho. Keep in mind Jericho is a former undisputed champion who had defeated Triple H in the main event of Mania.
And he jobbed to a scrub at the biggest wrestling event of the year. Backstage powers!
Useless Sean Combs/Puff Daddy/P. Diddy/Diddy Concert
This was just awful. I seriously doubt any fans gave a good fuck about J. Lo’s ex. He sang hits from the mid-90s and then finished off with the WrestleMania theme song “Coming Home.”
For those in attendance at MetLife Stadium in New Jersey, it must have been a valuable concession stand/bathroom break.
Alberto Del Rio d. Jack Swagger
Swagger and manager Zeb Colter performed the roles of fanatical Republican-extreme hard core Americans by scheming against immigrants and foreigners. They dubbed themselves real Americans.
I kept hoping Hulk Hogan’s music would hit the stadium and he would limp to the ring, whopping Swagger, Colter, and for good measure, Del Rio.
Del Rio retained the World Heavyweight title.
The Undertaker d. CM Punk
This was definitely the best match of the night. Had Punk won, it would have been one of the biggest wins in wrestling history.
Undertaker was 20-0 at Mania, a streak Punk was determined to squash. Both competitors were at their best.
Punk kicked out of the Tombstone. After the referee got knocked out, I thought Taker’s streak would be killed after Punk whacked the Dead Man with the urn. It would have been poetic to have the streak ended by the urn, the source of Undertaker’s powers when he first came on the wrestling scene. Rest in peace, Paul Bearer, that wasn’t the case as the Undertaker recovered, finishing off Punk with a vicious Tombstone.
Triple H d. Brock Lesnar
Had Triple H lost, he would have been forced to retire. Until the writers thought of a loophole.
Remember this before WrestleMania VIII?: “Reinstatement, oh, yeah!”
This match lacked any hype since they had fought at Summer Slam in August 2012. Triple H won a tough No-Holds-Barred match with a Pedigree on the ring steps.
John Cena d. The Rock
Once again, a rematch at Mania will never have the same appeal. Not only that, we knew The Rock would have to give up the WWE title since he wasn’t going to wrestle full time.
It was a good match, but not a Mania classic.